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[diarists]

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[mygoodsir]

I know.

And they have a right to their anger. But that does not make you a killer. It does not make you soulless. I have looked in your eyes and I know - I know - that you are not an evil woman.

Not all of it was your fault.

[diarists]

[there's a long, long pause.]

i didn't want to leave him there.

[mygoodsir]

No?

[diarists]

my baby. that was
part of why i did it.
why i wanted to stay.

[mygoodsir]

Oh, Shauna, my dear girl.

You are not a monster. They don't understand; you were a mother. It was not the same.

[diarists]

they made him into this
symbol of sacrifice. like fucking wilderness jesus, except he didn't come back after three days.
and everyone was acting like him dying was this great big symbolic thing, and like he was theirs, but he wasn't.

he was mine.
he's the only person who's ever been mine.

[mygoodsir]

That is appalling.

He was your son. Only yours. Not theirs. Not the forest's. Yours.

I'm so sorry, Shauna.

[diarists]

i used to be nice. i mean
i think i used to be a good person.



i don't think anyone understands the reasons i'm not anymore.

[mygoodsir]

I think you are good, still.

[diarists]

pretty sure you're the only one.
and it's only cause you like

get it. you lived it too.

[mygoodsir]

I am certain others see the good in you.

I did. Do you think me a monster for it?

[diarists]

No. You didn't have a choice.

[mygoodsir]

That's not true. I did.

[diarists]

i'm real good at history, remember?
you didn't. neither did the donners or those guys in the andes.
you didn't dress one of you up as a queen and hunt each other for fun. right?

[mygoodsir]

No. We did other things.

[diarists]

but you didn't. you weren't like
in charge.

[mygoodsir]

No. I'm not cut out for leadership.

Shauna. You were not in a normal situation.

[diarists]

[there's a pause. then:]

well, if i'm redeemable, so are you.
or we're both irredeemable.
deal?

[mygoodsir]

Deal.

I won't give up on you, you know.