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[she 'doesn't want to wake anyone' but that's all saber can think about. he's a loaded gun with a trigger finger, hungry for the delight that shauna has willingly offered, wanting to wake everyone within earshot. he texts her on the way there to make sure he's headed in the right direction (he gets lost often) but she isn't too far. leaning against the wall next to the door, he pulls out his phone to shoot her a message.]

come out and play

[he's giving her exactly two minutes. any longer and he isn't knocking, he's letting himself in. he's dressed in an ultra soft sweater and sweatpants, easy to get in and easy to get out of.]

[shauna's already on her feet, pacing on tiptoe, glancing at jackie sleeping all curled up and thinking about how it feels like sneaking into the closet with jeff during a sleepover, letting him pin her to the wall, letting his hands up under her skirt, welcoming it with open arms, open mouth. maybe that's what she needs; to sneak away, to make it quick and dirty and stealthy. because the message makes her stomach pitch and her breath catch, and with one more look to make sure jackie's asleep, shauna slips out into the hallway.]

Hi. [her voice pitches lower, instinctively, because she'd always tried being jackie when she was with jeff, tried being softer and sweeter, more a delicate slip of sunkissed hair and wide eyes. but then, huffing, she stands taller, shorts and a close-fitting t-shirt, trying to shake the self-consciousness. jeff had said he liked that shauna had bigger boobs, that she was curvier and softer, but who knows if he was just dumb from being so horny?

still: if saber doesn't like it, he can leave. shauna reaches out, boldly, grabbing for his hand and tugging him down the hall, barefoot, stage whisper:] C'mon, there's an empty room down here. Unless it's changed or -- something.

Hi.

[fast. like she's been waiting for him. her clothes are too smoothed out to have just been pried from bed, and saber's lips quirk at the idea that he got her heart pumping enough that she couldn't be still. had to see him, had to be ready, fresh and clean and pretty. she's not as nervous as she'd been, definitely not trying so hard.

she grabs his hand, he lets her walk far enough to have his arm stretched out in front of him. the process is going to be slow and at the pace he sets. watching, eyes trailing down her body, deliberate when he decides to follow her. follow her, like he doesn't know where they're going, like she has more control.]

Scoped the place out before I got here? [whispering too, keeping her hand in his and nudging his arm into her shoulder as they make their way to the empty room. tone shifting, taking on one more intimate before they even make it past the threshold.] What do you like?

Shut up. [it's easy to say, first tugging at saber's arm, feeling the taut strength of it as he lingers, dawdles, then the warmth of it against the loose shoulder of her t-shirt, making hot sparks shiver up and down shauna's spine. what do you like, he says, and she thinks of her fingers laced with mel's, tugging her along, into the shelter, pressing her down on the turf, smelling her sweat and churned up earth. she likes that, likes the desperate quiver of almost-fear when she hooks her fingers inside melissa's body, the sweet whimpery noises she makes.

but she'd liked that from jeff too, liked how he'd get weak-kneed at the end, hands clutching so tight they left bruises, hips bucking and breath gulping like a drowning man. need, shauna likes need, and control and power and watching someone fall apart because they want her so, so much. the door closes behind them, and shauna turns, tipping her chin upwards, eyes dark in the lightless room.] With guys? Being on top. Choosing how fast I wanna ride. I never had a guy go down on me before.

[she's dancing around it, around the blonde ghost that she's felt haunting the edges of her, this whole time, in this alternate reality where jackie's curled up to her every night instead. sometimes shauna thinks of the way mel would pant against the inside of her thigh after eating her out, surfacing from the clumsy, earnest, wholehearted worship of her underfed, tanned, scarred body. she thinks of jeff there, and can't quite picture it, can't imagine an encounter that isn't the front seat of his car, skirt hitched up, panties shoved down.

but she could picture saber. maybe. if he keeps smiling like that, like a bad idea, like a promise. shauna steps away, stretches her arms over her head, moonlight flashing on the stretch marks on her stomach.] What do you like?

[saber chuckles, low and deep, predatory in how he looks at her. he wants to swallow her whole. the moonlight makes her skin look porcelain for how pale she is. a moment's pause when he catches the stretchmarks, as brief as they show, they're there. he knows what those mean: a mother. not that he cares about them, but they make him more curious.

for as much space as there is between them he closes it, inching forward to walk her back toward the bed. deliberately slow until she's at the edge of the mattress. he's so close their hips are almost touching. no man ever having gone down on her, he wants the impression to last. wants her to think that only he can give what he knows she'll crave after him.]

We aren't at you riding my dick yet. I wanna know what you like before all that. [one hand reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear and cup her face. gentle at first, thumb brushing over her lower lip.] Like how you touch yourself.

[he's not answering her, especially not as he's leaning down make it seem like he's going to kiss her. those plush lips of hers, he'd like to open them up and make her moan.]

I'll tell you what I like if you think it'll help get you wet. Get on the bed for me, hm?

[his free hand traces down between her breasts and lingers at her belly. he can sense that she's a bit nervous, not used to talking openly about things. what teenage girl is? he likes that.]

[shauna wrinkles her nose, bites back the retort -- that's the only way she's ever done it, the only experiences she's had the hasty, dark-road entanglements, climbing into jeff's lap, skirt hiked up, panties hanging off her leg or -- or more accurately, just pulled to one side. so she could leap back into the passenger seat if anyone came by, could be back to normal in an instant.

saber is -- lingering, though, taking his time, and shauna thinks of what she hadn't said, what she hadn't spoken aloud, how she likes it filthy and quick and hot in their shelter, likes it out by the pond or up against a tree when it's melissa under her, when it's her grimy hand pressed to the blonde's mouth, muffling the sweet, needy sounds she makes. shauna likes taking her time then. so she doesn't snip, lifts her chin instead, breathes in when he bends close, close, swallows the scent of him.

the t-shirt rides up where his fingers linger, and shauna's eyes flutter closed for a hazy, hungry moment, before she's rocking back, folding, sitting on the bed and feeling the silk sheets warm to her touch as she scoots back, shorts riding lower as she does, settling up towards the pillows. her hands twitch, thinking of how you touch yourself, but she stays propped up on her elbows, dark eyes intent, focused, locked on him.] Like -- that? [there's the tiniest quaver of unsurety, of shy uneasy, and saber says get you wet like she isn't already, like her underwear is soaked through.]

[like that? she asks all propped up and pretty for him and he resists the urge to drag her back down by her ankles. the image makes his cock twitch. he'll be her teacher and her student tonight, that's what he gets to do with girls like her. girls with darkness in them that they prefer to hide away when all he'd like to do is tear off their mask and have them whimpering their deepest desires while he's between their legs.]

Perfect.

[what a show compared to how they first met. no more wild anger in her eyes or intent to kill if she could. she's asking for him and his service, which he's happy to give to her. the mattress dips as he crawls onto it beside her, nudging her legs further apart to kneel between them. not keen on exposing her too quickly and more interested in finding her sweet spots, saber massages a knuckle into her shorts, pressing against her clit, feeling her heat and wetness begin to reach the second layer of fabric.]

Fuck, you're really wet. I was gonna wait to take 'em off, but maybe I shouldn't.

[settling back on his haunches and running his free hand up her stomach, under her shirt to graze beneath her breasts. this is second nature to him. there's a familiarity in how he touches shauna. he seems to know every inch of her skin, every spot that might make her breath hitch. his touch is tantalizing, and finally he catches her nipple between his fingers to pinch gently.]

Talk to me, sweetheart. Which do you like more? Soft, [more gentle pinching paired with rubbing over her nipple with the tip of his finger, then he pinches a bit rougher. less experimental, but sure to keep it pleasurable. he's gauging her tolerance.] or hard?

[he's not making it easy for her, still teasing her through her shorts, dampening the fabric even more.]

Yeah, don’t wait. [shauna clings to the huffy snippiness, because saber’s crawling over to her, and she’s been sleeping cuddled up to jackie’s warmth and sweet-smelling skin and it’s been fucking torture, nothing has changed, she still spends every damn sleepover caught between guilt and lust. she doesn’t know how to have the latter without the former, anymore – it doesn’t get her off unless she’s a little ashamed of it, unless it makes that hot blushing heat crawl up her back like she’s gotten caught in a lie.

saber touches her body like he knows it, and shauna arches her back, sticks her tits out, hollows her stomach, spreads her thighs. like a girl in a dirty magazine, like a fantasy, which lasts until he works his knuckle over where she’s soaking wet and her head drops back and her breath hitches, because god the only one who knew how to touch her like that was mel. blonde, needy, eager melissa, kneeling like this, too clumsy and wanting to have saber’s practiced finesse, the makeshift stick walls between them and the camp doing nothing to dampen the sounds shauna makes when mel’s between her thighs.

the sharper pinch gets a jerk of shauna’s hips, shirt riding up over her stomach, chest rising into saber’s hand, and he can definitely feel that she’s wetter now, that the tiny spark of pain is exactly what she craves. there’s a hollow hunger in her dark eyes as she shifts one bare leg, nudges his hip with her knee, both hands curling into the blankets.]

Harder. [she wants worse than that, wants his teeth instead, wants him to leave a mark, leave more than one, prove that she’s still alive and he’s alive and they’re alive together. shauna’s blood rushes beneath her skin, and she repeats it, propping herself up on one elbow to tug off her shirt, bare her chest, bluish veins beneath pale skin, the too-hollow line of her collarbone, her ribs, her hipbones, but she doesn’t even think to stop and feel embarrassed:] Harder. Don’t be sweet. Don’t be soft. And for fuck’s sake don’t be gentle.

[he sees her putting on a performance for him that he knows will get interrupted. her girlishness trying to fit into a box to please him when all he wants to see is how much he can break it. smiling when she begins to falter and her breath gets all caught in her throat, licking his lips in anticipation when she takes her shirt off.]

There she is. You naughty girl-

[the way she talks immediately tells him how she wants him. dirty talk spills from his lips as easily as his fingers dig into her breast for a rough squeeze. reaching up to cup her face, thumb pressing into her mouth to force her to open for him, he applies pressure to her tongue. he keeps her there, thumb in her mouth to bite or suck on and fingers teasing through shorts. he'll ruin them before he strips her, hooking his fingers over the waistband to tear them off.

dragging his thumb over her lips when he's finished, saliva over her soft skin as he caresses her face. a gentle beginning of tracing his palm against her cheek before striking her with a precise amount of force.]

That what you want? Hm? [once more, another deliberate strike.] Good.

[the sting he leaves her with is one he soothes over with a distraction - a finger gliding over her exposed sex, slipping in and out of her with noises that make him groan. so wet and tight and warm, dripping down to the sheets already.

without warning he snatches her face up with his hand again, grasping around her mouth as he leans forward to kiss her. she wants rough, he doesn't know what she can take. he bites and licks over her lips messy-like, and when teeth click together it's like he wants them to. he gives the same energy to her exposed skin when he works his way down. from her jaw to her neck to her chest as he fucks into her, another digit sliding inside. when his tongue laves along a nipple he looks up at her, hungry.]

I'm not fucking you tonight, [teeth bite into skin, leaving little marks until he gets between her legs.] I'm making you come 'til you pass out.

Edited (a lil wordy error) 2025-04-05 05:14 (UTC)

[this is so wrong, jeff used to say when he was inside her, when he was already close, no condom, no finesse, no time before he came teen-boy-triggerhappy and left her wet and dripping, squeezing her thighs together as they rode home in dead silence, as she slammed the passenger door without looking back. shauna never let him, never let the dirty, filthy aspect of what they were doing be a kink, a fantasy. tell me you love me was easier to demand, and jeff always complied, because he was addicted to her, never doing more than a token protest whenever she crawled into his lap.

but when saber says it – says it with his hand gripping her face, stripping her while he’s still fully clothed, leaving her bare and vulnerable and shivery on the bed, says it with his thumb pressed into her mouth in a way that makes shauna moan and suck hard, lave her tongue against the salty pad and swallow the taste of him – it’s fine, it’s good, it’s hot, it sees every wretched horror between shauna here and shauna in jeff’s car and names it for what it is.

the slap is even better, sends sparks up and down shauna’s spine, her thighs shuddering, her cunt pulsing against the press of saber’s fingers, because the pain gets her wetter, the hurt makes her hotter, and he slaps her again and she almost comes from that alone. teeth bared into his mouth, she bites at his lips, misses, teeth coming down at a jarring angle that makes her taste blood, and she doesn’t swallow, lets it smear messy and pink over her cheek as he consumes her, devours her.]

F-Fine. [gulped, hands clutching tighter at the blankets, knees bent, legs spread, lifting up onto her elbows to watch him settle between her legs, to where she’s dripping like an obscenity into the cup of his hand.] Then – d-don’t be surprised when you wake up and I’m riding your dick later. [saber pulses his fingers into her and shauna gulps, pants blood down her chin.] You can’t stay awake all the time.

[she takes his thumb into his mouth so well and he can't take his eyes off her. how much longer until she can't manage any words at all and only hiccups and sharp inhales replace the silence in the room? he's obligated to her here with her splayed and shivering. sometimes he gets undressed for this, other times he doesn't. a power play of being the warm one and getting her warm without clothes. with his mouth.

stomach now flat against the bed and tongue messily - deliberately - exploring between her folds and swirling over her clit. he swallows down her wetness as much as he adds his own spit. nose buried in soft curls and mouth gorging on her, he hums a response, a deep vibration over her cunt. the only time he doesn't talk is when he's eating and she's lucky for that. asleep or awake he'll welcome her, dick hard and restrained in his pants. hips grind against the bed for friction and nothing.

dragging his fingers in and out of her as he breathes her in, his free hand reaches up for her breast to fondle her, gripping into soft skin. a natural at handling her body and a taking true enjoyment from being able to taste her, he'll look up every so often to lock eyes, to acknowledge her - to see her. the blood dripping down her chin, the flush in her face that matches his own.]

[he doesn’t argue, doesn’t protest, doesn’t do anything but seal his mouth to her cunt and start devouring her, and shauna knows better than anyone that such things are an act of worship, whether it’s teeth in flesh or tongue slipping through folds sodden with desire. she hadn’t lied – jeff never did this, never did anything more than stick his hand down her jeans or up her shirt while they were making out, just enough to see whether she was wet enough to climb onto his dick. melissa had, though, had gone from the cautious, clumsy probe of virgin tongue and virgin fingers, to knowing exactly what shauna wanted, needed.

saber knows that without needing to practice, and shauna thinks of how many other girls he must have done this to, how many times he’d flicked his tongue just like that against their clits, how he’d taught himself the perfect way to hook his fingers and the perfect amount of messy to be to make them shudder and whimper and gush against his mouth. and they’d just met, and she doesn’t care about those other girls, but – but she does, she does and it makes heat pulse beneath her breastbone and between her legs and shauna’s bloodied fingers sink into the silky mess of saber’s hair (curls, she loves curls, she thinks about jackie, jackie, jackie and) and she drags her nails against his scalp and grinds up against his mouth and she speaks without thinking:] You’re so – fucking greedy, look at you, bet you’ve done this with every girl here by now, huh?

[pressing her heels to the bed, shauna rises her hips to saber’s mouth, rocks them, thrusts, imagines choking him on her fingers, her knife, she doesn’t need a dick when she has that.] I’m not like the others, Saber. Don’t – eat me out like I am. I wanna feel it tomorrow. [but she’s soaked, she’s drenched, she’s so close, but she needs, she needs–] I want it to hurt.

[he can tell she's desperate to hurt him somehow with those nails dragging into his scalp, forcing him into her, over her. people talk about greed as if it's a bad thing. not him. not when his mouth is full of her and his tongue slurps her up with obscene sounds.

she's all talk, rocking into him until his hand is quick to press upon her belly to hold her still. up for air and nothing else, lips wet with saliva and her arousal dripping down his chin. the room is dark, but his cheeks are prominently pink from the friction, eyes half lidded as he looks at her. he's getting off as much as she is.]

You wanna think about that? How I get girls off? [he spits where his mouth once was, watches as it dribbles down her clit and reaches his hand. he fucks into her roughly, buries deep and curves up to press against her g-spot with deadly precision.] I like eatin'. I like how pussy tastes and how wet you all get. You like it too, don't ya?

[whether he's caught her fantasy or he's talking about how wet she is unclear. saber talks to talk, throws in tidbits to see what takes. aggressive in how he holds her down to prevent her from setting the pace, fingers buried and motioning inside her like a taunt.]

You'll hurt when I want you to hurt.

[and he does devote himself to her again, biting at the skin where thigh meets hip, tonguing across space until his mouth is around her sensitive flesh.]

Fuck you. [but shauna says it like a prayer, like a plea, shauna spreads her legs and shudders beneath saber’s hand splayed over her belly and shauna grinds her cunt against his mouth like she’ll die without it.] Just – wondering who else has gotten this.

[thinking: nat, lottie, jackie, the idea of saber’s hands on jackie makes her throb, picturing his mouth between her spread, slender legs, tasting her like jeff never fucking did, shauna’s sure, he expected her to go down on him but never returned the favor. it pisses her off and it makes her pulse slick and throbbing around his fingers as they fuck up into her, make her gasp high and sharp.

and she thinks: tangled gold hair, rough hands holding her thighs apart, mel looking up with a giddy, fuckdrunk look on her soaked face.] She usually went down on me. More – desperate than you, though. [she laughs, rolls her hips, tugs his hair and clenches around his fingers.] You – really wanna make me think about someone else right now?

[but he’s stealing her breath with the meet of his teeth in her flesh, prompting a sob of sound, need and desire and impatience, and as soon as his mouth is back on her clit, shauna’s hips buck up helplessly, because – because she needs it, she’d gotten used to melissa always in arm’s reach and it’s been torment, especially sharing a room, sharing a bed, and in spite of herself she comes on saber’s tongue thinking about fucking jackie again.]

[of course she's wondering who else has gotten what he's giving her. with how he's handling her, a younger woman - a teen, he reminds himself - goes straight to the place of how much experience he has and just who he's had experience with. she can talk all she wants when he knows he's getting her somewhere. he recognizes how her breath hitches, feels her muscles clench around him.

he imagines she's clenching around his cock. her words reach his ears but he barely processes them. he knows he's hit her weakness, what makes her tremble and shake from his touch, from his not so gentle guidance into a fantasy. he laughs with her too, more delicious little vibrations against sensitive flesh. she becomes more frenzied and he moves to press his arm into her stomach instead, fingers gripping into her waist to mixing pain with pleasure. he makes her gush, sloppy noises as he helps her ride her orgasm out, right up until he knows it almost hurts from over stimulation.

idly, he continues to fuck into her. gentle and slow, dragging fingers out to play at her entrance as he rests his cheek on her thigh.]

Doesn't matter who you thought about. You came 'cause I put it together for you.

[lips swollen and red with saliva and come, his tongue darts out to collect what remains on them.]

You tell me when you're ready to go again.

[shauna hits that squirmy, oversensitive place quick – maybe she’s out of practice, the handful of days that constitute a dry spell making her remember what it feels like to have her body on ice, her heart locked down, cautious and careful around her resurrected best friend. saber doesn’t let her stay frozen, though, melts her from inside out, teasing over the shuddering, clenching pulse of her cunt, fingers marking the too-lean curve of her waist.

and, absently, she’s thankful for that, hand finding the sweaty mess of his hair, touching it once, lightly, like she used to touch the hilt of her knife strapped to her side, making sure it’s there. then shauna goes slack, relaxed, hand loose against the sheets, trying to catch her breath, chin lifting to let the sweat gathered on her throat begin to cool.

the words get a huffy laugh, a twitch of her shivery thigh against saber’s cheek.] S-Sure. Whatever you say. You’re a fuckin’ – sex tour guide or whatever. [another gentle bump, the heat of her eyes finding his, propping up slowly on her elbows. her chest is still heaving, rising and falling, but her panting mouth finds a curve, a grin.]

You think I need a break? After one round? [another nudge of her leg, then she’s reaching down, shaky fingers finding the mess of her pussy, parting the slick folds and dragging her middle finger slowly up the dripping slit, inviting.] Don’t be dumb.

just wondering but what the FUCK is your problem shipman

what are you pissed about now i woke up like five minutes ago

why do i have someone in my messages asking me if i ate people in the wilderness? oh it's because someone fucking told them you, shauna. you squealed. after we fucking agreed.

[...ah. well.]

why are you assuming it was ME? there are FIVE of us here, and four of them know what happened.

because it was a girl whose friend died in the winter did you even fucking try not to be obvious? we have to live with these people

did you seriously think we'd be able to keep it a secret, my queen? did you think it'd be all birthday parties and sleepovers forever? this place takes secrets and airs them out for everyone to see. that's what it does. we don't get to live normal lives, nat. if we're the ones who tell, we can control who knows and who dies. who was it?

fuck you

( no, she didn't. but she thought — maybe, for them, for the girls, for trav, she could pretend. the wilderness is stuck on them like honey, like sap in a tree. it's in their veins. they can't outrun it, and nat can't outrun shauna. she's always been faster. )

unlike you i can keep my mouth shut

then don't bitch about it if you don't want me to fix the problem.

[maybe she'd thought the same for a handful of moments -- when she saw jackie again, when she was at the party with the others acting like a normal girl. she'd thought maybe it could be different. the idea that she'd been that naive, even briefly, makes her stomach churn.]

does jackie know?

jesus fucking christ shauna i don't want you to kill anyone can you be sane for a second? as far as i know, no but if you're gonna start talking shit to everyone here, you'd better tell her before someone else does

[aw :(]

then what's the problem? if it's someone you trust not to tell the whole house, you don't need to be so fucking dramatic. besides, i was voted most likely to cannibalize someone, so you can just say i'm the crazy one. keep your hands clean. congrats.

maybe i didn't want him to know about it i'll deal with it we're connected whether you like it or not. if you go down you're taking the rest of us with you don't fucking forget that

him SPECIFICALLY? cause i only told one person, anonymously, because of shit he already said. so i'm pretty sure i know who you're talking about. i'm not stupid, nat. i'm not going around broadcasting it, despite what you might think. i have a lot to lose here too. how could i? it's all i think about.

if you know, then leave him alone. fine. okay. i don't think you're stupid. let's just keep it together.

okay i won't go and stab your new weird bottle blond bf damn. if he starts running his mouth i might change my mind. i wanted to talk about it. now that we're not like fighting for our lives sorry, my bad, won't do that ever again.

dude he's not my bf. he won't. that's fine, shauna. but we promised. and this is exactly why we promised. it's great to talk about until you don't have a fucking choice. we have to tell jackie before it gets out.

ok sure just your fave non-travis person. gotcha. i'll leave him be, untwist your panties. no. i mean not yet. i need to figure out how to say it ok? i'm not ready to lose her again yet, nat. please?

great. thanks.

( really, natalie doesn't want to be a stern leader — it doesn't suit her. she's uncontroversial, non-confrontational, and inherently believes in the equality of everyone, equal work for equal shares, an almost naive belief that things will run smoothly because everyone should want it to. it lances her, her empathy. because, because. because jackie freezing was an accident, a mistake — eating her was necessary, some kind of blood drenched boon. because shauna was her best friend, and the reason she got left out in the cold. because nat understands that guilt, that grief, intimately. javi froze for her, too.

so, it's not hard to give her this. she gets it. if javi was here and didn't remember what she'd done, she'd grip his tiny shoulders and hold him so tightly, he'd bruise with her love for him. she'd apologize, and he wouldn't know why. )

ok. it won't come from me.

yeah. great.

[it’d be easier if she weren’t. shauna would have an outlet for the pulsing, throbbing rage that lives beneath her ribs if natalie were stern and sharp, if natalie snapped back when shauna went after her throat. it’d be simpler to just straightforwardly hate her, uncomplicated, black-and-white schoolgirl loathing, vented out in journal entries and long nighttime gossip sessions.

and yet: she can’t. because nat doesn’t bare her teeth and sink them into shauna’s jugular and because nat was there, holding her hand on the worst day of shauna’s life, because nat witnessed the last good things inside shauna bleed out into the snow the day her baby died. because nat understands shauna’s grief, her rage, and gives tiny concessions every which way, allows shauna to snarl and bite, when if their positions were swapped, if shauna was in charge – well.

anyone who’d seen her that vulnerable, that flayed-raw and weeping and bleeding with the weight of death in her arms (twice) would either be always within her reach or dead. they’d take every breath with her, lie within the range of her outstretched, bloodied arms, understand that there is no division between her and them, or they’d be meat for the feast.

after a long, weighty pause:] thanks. i’ll figure out how to say it, soon. to her, not anyone else.

[ jackie doesn’t think much of it when shauna doesn’t stir when she gets up at first. they’ve slept over countless times before crashing in the wilderness and neither are all that easy to wake unless they need to be. it’s not scary until she comes in with coffee and muffins for breakfast and she still doesn’t wake. not even when jackie calls her name, not even when she screams it, not even when she spills the coffee on the ground and gets back into bed to try shaking her awake, tears spilling over as she shakes her and shouts her name over and over and eventually wails when none of it works.

is this what had happened, she can’t help but wonder, when she’d found her? the thought makes her want to puke but she screams again instead, holding her tight.

eventually she calms, realizing the body she’s clinging to like an anchor is still warm. she presses her ear to shauna’s chest, crying all over again when she hears her heart. it’s beating. she’s breathing. she’s still alive.

so why can’t she wake up?

the passing few days until she does are spent alternating between their room and the rooms of the others after she tries reaching out first and doesn’t get an answer. she finds hair ties and rigs them to the doors so she’ll know if anyone’s been in while she’s gone. when night comes she goes back to the suite she and shauna share, only resting when her body won’t let her stay awake any longer.

while keeping watch over natalie and travis she pulls her phone out, mostly out of lack of anything else to do. ]

Hey.

I know you’re probably still asleep but IDK I guess this is in case u wake up and I’m not there

I asked about what might be wrong. It’s not just you I can’t wake anyone up. I’m scared.

If you wake up and see this write me back ok??? I mean I may just be there when you do. I don’t want to leave you alone but you’re not the only one I can’t wake up & I’m scared for them too so if you do & I’m not there I’m just trying to find answers OK???

I love you. I hope you wake up soon ~~I can’t do this alone I never could~~

Edited 2025-05-02 20:24 (UTC)

[the first person shauna thinks of when she wakes up is natalie, with a rush of fury that courses through her like wildfire. she wants to find her, she needs to get her hands around her skinny little fucking neck and squeeze and squeeze and --

and jackie is second, jackie's scent in the sheets, on the pillowcase, and the fury gets tangled with the bolt of fear that natalie's already found her, already said something, already ruined everything. she fumbles for her phone, dirt beneath her nails, hair longer and sunbleached and scraggly, blood still coating the back of her throat:]

jackei jackie im awke

[ she's taken some time to shower, since she's been told there's thing she can do until they wake up and she doesn't feel like doing anything else. she's getting dressed when her phone goes off, and she nearly knocks the phone over lunging for it. ]

SHAUNA OMG

I'll be right there I was just getting dressed don't move ok???

Do u need anything? RU hungry???

[ she remembers the doctor mentioning they may need nutrients. they'd determined people didn't need to do that before while falling into sleeps like this, but they might when they wake up. ]

[she can hear the clanking and clattering of jackie in the bathroom and it makes her wheeze out a laugh, swallowing hard against the taste of -- blood, it's blood she can still taste, coating her throat, heavy in her stomach, suddenly roiling and churning.

she swallows again, harder.]

no i'm not hungry definit ely not moving way too comfy

[ something pings her as off (maybe the use of the word 'comfy'), but she tries not to dwell on it. shauna's awake again, she's alive. she's okay. ]

OK I'm gonna get water or something at least

I'll be back in like five minutes I swear to God

Do u remember anything???

[does she remember. yes. no. it's both the realest thing in the world and completely irrelevant, maybe more so here than anywhere else. she's queen. mari's dead. coach is dead. another two people, newcomers, dead. nat's betrayed her. everyone's betrayed her.

but jackie is alive. jackie is alive and shauna wouldn't be shauna if that didn't make everything else suddenly not matter anymore.

so, swallowing back that blood taste, suddenly wildly grateful that jackie's not looking at her, not able to see the president-of-hello-kitty level lies she's about to spin:]

kinda? sorta? it's pretty fuzzy maybe i gotta just catch up or i dunno

ic inbox for saltburnt

@zombieboy

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cw a lil bdsm

cw: bloodplay, somno a bit

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text — un: SCATORCCIO

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@yellowjackie (backdated to 4/28)

post-canon update

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cw: cannibalism

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