diarists | ic inbox for saltburnt

couldn't figure out who you meant. misty's insane, but shes a yellowjacket. she's family. is that ren chick one of yours?

so what you won't let me fuck you if i kill her?

devon is one of mine. she fucked up with that one wait

who the hell is ren?

[ugh ugh ughhhhh misty u better appreciate that]

you're damn right i won't. she's mine. i'll forgive messing with jackie and mel, but you can't kill ANY of them. that devon guy's girlfriend or whatever. she went after the team, started dragging out all our shit. tried to say we were guilty.

she's yours? lol okay shauna remember the last time you said that?

i wasn't askin' for your forgiveness
kinda deserved if you ask me and how do you know you're not guilty? shauna

i bet your pretty little face you're a wolf and you don't even know it. that'd be hot. you gonna come try and kill me in the cage?

yeah, i meant it then too. they're all mine and i'm theirs. forever, apparently, even when we go back. who else is gonna know so much shit and still want to be there? i don't know. i know going to bed and waking up to a bunch of people dead and i know some chick who made out with mel accusing us. i know being alone. i'm not doing it again. it's them, period. it'll always be them. no, cause you'd like it too much.

mine this mine that you're scared aren't ya?
they come back to life y'know who cares if they die

uh oh one of your girlfriends causin' problems?
protectin' them like this is gonna be your downfall shauna. when all you have is them and all they have is you well shit you'll be alone forever

aw :( breaking my heart

they all come back, one way or another. they stick and you can't get away from them, especially if it's your fault they're dead. yeah, i know. but i can't not have them. they're in me. it's in me. it's in us all. there's not another way. i don't get to go back after what happened. it's bullshit, y'know. acting like any of us have any power, pretending we can have it over each other. you really wanna die?

why do you care if it's your fault?

[more of this 'it' business. lottie mentioned 'it' briefly, but shauna hasn't been so clear about the reference until now– not that he can remember, anyway. doesn't matter. he can use this.]

no other way huh? 'cause of it? better do anything you can to please whatever that is or somethin' bad will happen
right?

dyin's part of it for me. i got a while before i get crazy again but what's one more time? are you tryin' to find a reason to kill somebody like me?

cause jackie was.

[first time she's said it aloud, not the endless writing in her journals, not the spiraling of her thoughts my fault my fault my fault]

sort of. i don't think it can be pleased, though. just postponed. it's in us, it IS us, i'm not totally sure. but there's no getting rid of it. you've died before? how many times? there's nobody like you, saber.

[except maybe me.]

was she one of the ones you ate?

sounds like me hahaha good luck with that

uh first time was an accident and Mom revived me, second time i killed myself
didn't we talk about this? maybe not. that week was a blur
i think i came back the weekend hex club opened

fuck you. [yes.]

oh shit that's right i'm supposed to work there, i guess but that was right when mel was remembering shit and whatever, doesn't matter. death's like a reset button for you?

fuck you too

remembering how much you screwed her over? not that she told me anything but you and your freakshow friends make it obvious
plus i'm pretty sure you said her name once while i was eating you out

yeah it makes everything quiet again

Edited 2025-10-11 23:52 (UTC)

only once?

[a pause, considering.]

she was my best friend. and then i got pregnant with her boyfriend's baby. we had a big fight, she went to sleep outside. she froze to death. the end. almost sounds nice.

shit you want me to count how many times you say her name?

you messy girl i bet you wanted that baby to be hers
so her death is your fault huh
do you wanna die?

yeah, keep a little spreadsheet or something. i'll get you some fucking star stickers for it, how bout that? we used to have sleepovers together. "practice". i died when she did. when my baby did. i've been dead this whole time.

ic inbox for saltburnt

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cw cannibalism and suicide mention

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cw: vague suicidal ideation ig

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